


Rugrats: Crusade of the Crimson Rosebush

by LovelessNobodyXIII



Series: THE WINTER LEAVES SAGA [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, Metal Gear, Rugrats & All Grown Up! (Cartoons), Street Fighter, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Gen, Parody, Surreal, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelessNobodyXIII/pseuds/LovelessNobodyXIII
Summary: When tragedy strikes the Pickles household, nothing will be able to stop one baby's quest for justice.
Series: THE WINTER LEAVES SAGA [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669285





	1. ACT I: CRAWL

RUGRATS: CRUSADE OF THE CRIMSON ROSEBUSH  
Written by Christopher Rangel

ACT I: CRAWL

Stu Pickles was walking around the kitchen one night when there was a loud crash.  
"What is happening?" he asked as he went to the living room. He looked around and saw that a whole bunch of furniture had been turned over, but there was no sign of life anywhere.  
"Hello?" he said. "Anyone there?" He looked up and saw his father, Lou Pickles, pinned to the ceiling with knives, but no blood dripped down. Stu was out of breath, staggering backwards and unsure what to do. He screamed.

The ambulance left the next morning, and the children all gathered around the window to see their grandfather's final trip from home.  
"HOly shit!" said Chuckie. "Someone killed the fuck out of your grandpa!"  
"I know", said Tommy. He held his hand to the window. "And I won't rest until I know which one of you mother fucking thumb suckers did it!" He turned around to the rest of the children, his eyes filled with malice.  
"Whoa man, you're not saying one of us did this!" exclaimed Phil.  
"Yeah, that is stupid!" said Lil.  
"I'll be damned if it wasn't one of you", said Tommy. He pulled a gun out of his diaper.  
"Holy shit!" said Angelica. "Tommy, put that the fuck away! You are too young to use that! You are a baby!"  
"I'm not just a baby!" said Tommy. "I'm a baby with a vendetta, and a motherfucking gun to cap you homies with!"  
"Put the gun down", said Susie. "I know that youo know that none of us did this. Just put the gun down." Tommy's hands began to shake, then he dropped the gun and cried.  
"I'm gonna kill the cock sucker that did this!" Tommy screamed.  
"Shut the fuck up babies!" Screamed Didi. "I am trying to grieve over here! Hey, what is this?" Didi found a note on the table, read it, then slammed it back down and left the room crying.  
"What the fuck was that about?" asked Angelica. "C'mon guys, let's go!" So Angelica unlocked the door to the babies play area and they made their way to the table. Using teamwork, Tommy made his way to the top of the table and read the note.  
"I can't fucking read this", said Tommy, so he dropped the letter and it landed in Angelica's hand.  
"I'm fucking done with this!" she read out loud. "You'd better fucking run, Stu, because I'm coming for you next! Love, Chas."  
"Holy shit!" said Chuckie. "My dad killed your grandfather!" Tommy tackled Chuckie, taking a knife out of his diaper and holding it to Chuckie's throat.  
"Alright, fuckin' Chuckie", said Tommy. "If you don't tell me where your stick-ass dad is, I'm gonna fucking open your pussy ass neck!"  
"I don't know where my dad is!" yelled Chuckie.  
"Holy fuck!" said Didi as she came into the room. She grabbed Tommy and took away the knife and made for the phone to put him in juvee or some shit.  
"No, wait", said Stu as he entered the room, carrying another letter. "I have read this letter from dad. He's been training the children since birth for this very occasion; he knew something was up with Chas. These babies are trained warriors. This is what they must do. Put Tommy down." Didi put Tommy down and Stu made his way to his son. "Now listen here, son", said Stu. "Don't kill Chuckie; you must not kill the son for the sins of the father. You must kill the father. Now go. Find Charles Finster. Make me proud. Make Grandpa proud." He put the knife back in Tommy's hand. "I wish you luck on your journey. To find Charles, you must crawl until you can walk, and then walk until you're able to run. Then you will find him right in front of you."  
So Stu kicked all of the kids out of the house (with the permission of everyone's parents, except for Chuckie's). To begin with they crawled to Chuckie's house. The door was ajar and they were able to make their way inside.  
"Kimi!" Chuckie cried. "Kimi, can you hear me!?" They looked up and saw Kira, Chuckie's adopted mother, pinned to the ceiling with knives. Chuckie threw up.  
"Holy fuck!" exclaimed Lil.  
"This motherfucker gonna pay", said Tommy, keeping his hand near the gun in his diaper. "I guarantee it." They could hear crying coming from deeper in the house, so they went to check it out. They eventually stopped at the closet door.  
"Kimi!" Tommy yelled at the door. "Kimi, its okay! Its us! It is your friends and not your crazy ass dad!"  
The door opened and Kimi stumbled out, rubbing the tears from her eyes.  
"Holy fuck, Chuck", said Kimi. "Your dad is a fucking lunatic and he killed my mom!"  
"He's your dad as well!" Chuckie whined.  
"No, he's not!" said Kimi. "Not anymore. My dad is back in Paris, or Japan, or dead, or wherever the fuck he is. He is not your dad. Not anymore."  
"None of that matters", said Tommy. "What we need to do is find that cock sucker. Do you have any idea where he went next."  
"He said he was going to your place to teach your dad a lesson."  
"Yeah, we know", said Tommy. "It happened. We have to move on."  
"I'm sorry", said Kimi.  
"Me too", said Tommy, looking grimly into the distance. "But what's done is done, and all we can do is keep moving forward."  
So they made their way outside. Kimi told her story, how she hid herself in the closet as Chas started to yell, and saw through the crack of the door as he stabbed Kira for the first time. She didn't look after that, and had no idea how he was able to get her onto the ceiling like that.  
They stopped at the Pickles house to retrieve their loyal companion Spike from the yard.  
"Spike will carry all the supplies we need on our quest", said Tommy, and with that they made their way from their familiar neighborhood.

The Sun was falling. It was getting cold. They stopped at a nearby Inn with a bar attached. They stumbled into the bar. Tommy tapped Chuckie on the shoulder, meaning for him to begin asking questions to the adults.  
"Where are we?" asked Chuckie.  
"You're a little young to be here, now aren't you?" said the man.  
"Cut the shit and tell us where we are!" exclaimed Chuckie, on edge.  
"Ha! I like it! You've got spirit, kid. You're in none other than Winchester Nevada, the toughest neck of the toughest woods, and you're talking to the toughest of the tough, Ryu, the Street Fighter Champion. I..." then he stopped as soon as he saw Kimi. "Holy shit. Kimi."  
"Do I know you?" asked Kimi.  
"I'm your father", said Ryu, a tear coming to his eye. Kimi began to cry. "Hey, if you kids need somewhere to stay, you can come over to my place. Any friend of Kimi's is a friend of mine." So they went to Ryu's dojo.  
"It's not much", said Ryu as he opened the door. "But its home. I can put some sleeping bags down on the fighting ground. Make yourselves at home and all that shit." He went over to the kitchen and began to prepare some tea. He brought some out for everyone and they all drank the tea.  
"Kira got back in touch with me a few months ago, but she's been silent for the past few days. And you guys are an awful long way away from home. Is everything alright?"  
"Kira's dead", said Chuckie. "My dad killed her."  
"Chas? Shit. I knew I could sense something evil within him. I thought it was just my imagination. I should have listened to Lou..." He looked at Tommy. "Hey, wait, Lou trained you guys, didn't he?"  
"Yes", said Tommy. "He was the best warrior, until Chuckie's dad killed him."  
"Motherfucker", said Ryu. He breathed in deep, then exhaled. "Don't worry, I know you guys can attain vengeance. Ultimately, you must face the Chas... the Finster... alone. That is your burden. But it will be my burden to make sure you're ready. To make sure you learn to walk, and afterwards to run. Now, babies, show me what you got!" He drew fighting pose and so did all the babies and children. They had an epic Kung-Fu match with chops and kicks everywhere. The babies played the offensive, and Ryu the defensive, to gauge their abilities. The babies landed expertly trained punches and kicks at Ryu, ultimately knocking him down.  
"Not bad", said Ryu. "For a mob. Anyways, you can keep this place as your home base, and tomorrow you can begin looking for leads on the Finster's whereabouts. For now, rest. You've got a long crusade ahead of you."  
They slept in the dojo, except for Tommy. He tried to fall asleep but could not. In the middle of the night he heard some loud banging sounds coming from Ryu's room. He got up and went to investigate, peeking through the crack in the door to see what was going on. He saw Ryu held against the wall by a couple goons, with a man in a black leather jacket wielding a baseball bat wraped in barbed wire standing in front of him.  
"You'll nver get away with this, Negan", said Ryu.  
"Really?" said Negan, twirling his bat around. "Cause I think I already have!" A third goon punched Ryu in the gut. Tommy assembled his friends and made for the room.  
"Hey asshole!" said Tommy. Negan turned around, amused.  
"Ha!" he said. "You runts are going nowhere. Saviors! Take care of them!" Negan jumped out of the window and his goons approached the kids.  
Chuckie looked at Tommy.  
"You ready for this?"  
"Time to kick some ass".  
The three Saviors jumped at the babies, but they jumped out of the way. Immediately Angelica, the oldest and most trained of the group, jumped onto one of their shoulders and snaped the guys fuckin' neck. The other two guys looked at each other in horror, but then turned to continue the fight. One of them sparred one on one with Tommy, until Tommy bopped him in the nose, sending him staggering backwards, then he pulled the knife from his diaper and leaped and slit the guy's throat. The third guy started to scream.  
"No, please, don't kill me! I can tell you anything you want to know!"  
"Where's the Finster?" Tommy asked, pointing his bloody knife in the man's face.  
"I... I don't know..."  
"Then die!"  
"Wait!" yelled Phil. "We can still ask him another question."  
"Very well", said Tommy. "Where is your base?"  
"Its right under the bar, The Faint of Hearts."  
"You'll take us there tomorrow."  
"Oh... oh, shit." Ryu bound him with rope and spent the rest of the night vigilant, watching over him.  
No one could sleep well that night. Tommy could see Chuckie shaking as he tried to fall asleep. Tommy crawled over to him.  
"Hey Chuckie, everything alright?"  
"My dad is a monster", said Chuckie. "Does that make me a monster as well?"  
"No Chuckie", said Tommy. "You are not a monster. You're a baby. A good baby. We'll take your dad down, don't worry about it."  
"Okay", said Chuckie. "If you say so. But we can't even find him!"  
"Don't worry", said Tommy. "We will find him. We don't know where he is now, but we'll find out. We have a lead. Tomorrow, we make for The Faint of Hearts."

Negan entered the dimly lit command room.  
"Sorry I'm late", said Negan. "We got held up a bit at the dojo, but my guys should have taken care of it by now." He looked to the table, around which sat a whole bunch of shady looking people, including Master Xehanort, Wilson Fisk (The Kingpin), Wilhelm Ryan, and Rufus Shinra. Giovanni, the leader of Team Rocket, stood up. He looked around the table with a quiet sense of pride, then faced Negan.  
"We've received word from the Finster. He's ready to move forward with the plan. Have you recovered the Protajewel?"  
Negan gave a brief laugh, then reached into his pocket with a smile on his face. He held up a round, shining red jewel.  
"Is this the stone you're looking for?"

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. ACT II: WALK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The search for The Finster takes the babies to Las Vegas, where a horde of Death Worshippers and other horrors await them.

RUGRATS: CRUSADE OF THE CRIMSON ROSEBUSH

Written by Christopher Rangel

ACT II: WALK

Ryu kicked open the door to The Faint of Hearts, sending it flying across the room, hitting the bartender in the head, effectively knocking him out. Everyone turned to the newcomers and stood up, except for Solid Snake, who just sighed and lit another cigarette in boredom. One person, Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise, got up and checked on the bartender.

"He's dead, Jim", he said. "Kill them."

So everyone in the bar drew their weapons and stuff and ran to attack Ryu and the babies, except for Solid Snake, who couldn't care less.

All the babies and Ryu took care of everyone in the bar non-lethally, leaving them groaning on the floor. Tommy looked around; the only people left conscious were Solid Snake, still smoking at his table, and a Team Rocket grunt, standing by the far wall with fear in his eyes. Tommy made his way to the Team Rocket grutn.

"Where the fuck is the secret hideout, cunt?" he said, drawing his knife.

"Uh, not here", said the grunt. So Tommy threw him out of the way and pushed the button on the wall that the guy had been trying to hide. A secret staircase leading downwards appeared.

"Ryu", said Solid Snake. "What the fuck is going on? Why the fuck are you hanging out with a bunch of babies?"

"Because, Snake, a great evil is on the rise and we have to stop it. And they're not just babies; they're warriors, trained by the great Lou Pickles."

"A great evil", Solid Snake said under his breath. "Has he returned?"

"Oh, no. He hasn't returned yet, but he may soon. This may be an omen."

Solid Snake sighed. "Well, that's a relief. I suppose in the meantime I can help you out."

"Thanks", said Ryu. "Though I didn't ask..."

"You didn't need to ask", Solid Snake said, taking Ryu's hand in a manly handclasp.

So the party went downstairs and walked down a dark hallway. The smell of blood permeated the air as they opened the door at the end.

"Help", came a voice. They looked down and saw Master Xehanort on the floor, bloodied and bruised. They helped him sit up and applied pressure to his wounds.

"Was this the fuckin' Finster?" asked Tommy.

"The Finster? No. Negan... and Giovanni. We didn't know this was part of their plan..." he looked around the room. Wilhelm Ryan lay dead, and a trail of blood led from where Wilson Fisk had been sitting into another hallway. There was no sign of Rufus Shinra, though. "Bastards. The Protajewel has made them strong."

Xehanort summoned his Keyblade, using it for support as he stood up.

"Do you know where my dad... the Finster is?" asked Chuckie.

"Your dad is the Finster?" said Xehanort. "Shit, that sucks, dawg."

"Yeah dood", said Chuckie. "Sucks hard ol' dicks, but I gotta keep crawling until I can walk, and then I can run, and then I can take him the fuck down."

"Yes, like the prophecy", said Xehanort. "Well, for what its worth, I'd say you kids are walking already. Come on, let's get outta this shithole."

So they got out of the Faint of Hearts. It was a bright sunny day outside.

"The light", said Xehanort. "Never been a fan of that."

"Why not?" asked Suzie.

"Because light fuckin' sucks, that's why. Darkness is where its at", said Xehanort.

"I've got kind of a bad feeling about this guy", Phil whispered to Lil.

"Same, but if anyone is going to lead us to the Finster, its this guy. He knows about their activities, and also has a vendetta against him, just like us. And besides, if he turns on us, I think we can take him."

"I need a nap", said Tommy.

"Yeah, I think we all could", said Angelica.

"What are you, children?" accused Snake.

"Yes", said Kimi.

"Okay", said Snake, and they all took a nap.

Negan walked down the road in darkness, Giovanni and Rufus Shinra to either side of him. He held his bat, Lucille, in one hand, and with the other tossed the Protajewel into the air and caught it, over and over again. And Tommy was aware of all of it.

"The Finster will be most pleased", said Shinra.

"Indeed", said Giovanni. "With that Protajewel, he'll be nearly invincible."

"Really?" said Negan, looking at the red jewel he held in his hand.

"Yes", said Giovanni. "With the sacrifices we've committed in his name, he has already gained supernatural strength, but whoever holds a Protajewel also carries a fraction of God's True Power."

"Huh", said Negan. "I don't feel any different."

"No, of course not", said Shinra. "It's not anything you can really detect until the time is right."

"So, I gotta hand this over to the Finster once we get to Las Vegas, right?"

"Right", said Shinra.

"And what if I don't?" said Negan. "What if I just killed him, and killed you guys too?"

"Well, that would just be stupid", said Giovanni. "Don't do that."

"Ha ha ha", laughed Negan, then everyone else began to laugh, until Negan smashed both of them in the head, making them dead. "Alright Finster, there's a new Death Emperor in town."

Tommy woke up in a sweat.

"What's up, Tommy?" Chuckie asked, alerted by Tommy's alertness.

"HOly shit", said Tommy. I just had a dream that that cunt Negan smashed a couple of his friends with his bat, and that he is heading to Las Vegas to meet the Finster."

"Perhaps... that wasn't a dream", said Master Xehanort. "Tommy... you don't have a Protajewel, do you?" Tommy thought for a second, then reached into his diaper and pulled out a red jewel.

"This is the only jewel I have", Tommy said. "Grandpa called it the Jewel of the Crimson Rosebush".

"Yes..." said Master Xehanort. "That's what we called them in the old days, in reference to the innocence of God's Virginity. Tommy, with that jewel you have a special power that none of us have. You have a certain level of immunity to whatever dangers come your way, though you're not necessarily mortal. Though everyone who has held a Protajewel has died a meaningful death, you can rest assured." He looked to the sky for a moment, forgetting the light. "So now we must head for Las Vegas."

So they headed for Las Vegas, but it wasn't the city of lights and fun that it usually was advertised as. There were statues of the Finster everywhere, and people were fucking in the streets like dogs. Money rained from the sky like rain, and there was never a frown on any face. The air here was charged with an evil energy that encouraged every level of sin, and disembodied heads hung in the air, transparent and intangible.

"Huh", said Solid Snake. "It would appear that the City of Sin has evolved into the City of Death."

"And the Death Emperor sits atop all of it", said Master Xehanort, looking up at the tallest skyscraper in front of them. Or rather, Skyraper, as the sign at the top, but beneath the statue of the Finster that sat at the very top. The statue raised a sword into the sky, which left a trail of dark nothingness in the sky, matching its tip to the rotation and revolution of the Earth.

"No", gasped Ryu. "Where did he find it?"

"Find what?" asked Tommy.

"The Atomic Blade, a blade that can cut reality itself. Shit, we have to put an end to this fast." So they made their way down the street, but as they passed down, every person on the street stopped what they were doing (which was mostly fucking) and watched them walk by, but then they started to chase the party. The party noticed, then stopped to stand their ground as the Skyraper loomed overhead. Tommy drew his knife, and Ryu picked him up and threw him like a football. With his knife held before him, Tommy flew threw a hundred faces before landing on the ground, then he took out his gun and started slashing and shooting at the corrupted people that infested the streets. The children got into their favorite formation and did crazy kung fu on the people attacking them. Angelica kicked one person into the air, and then Phil propelled Lil into the air and she did an insane double fist crush which sent the dude crushing down into the air, crushing the enemies below and causing all of their bodies to explode. And then Solid Snake, Ryu, and Master Xehanort just did the stuff they usually do in their games to take down some of the Death Worshippers.

Once they were finished and the streets were filled with carnage, a man stepped out from the shadows of an alleyway. It was Sarumon the white! He lifted his sceptre with a smile and then all the dead came back to life.

"Motherfucker!" shouted Ryu. "Quick! We have to head for the tower! Run!"

And so they ran. Or at least Solid Snake, Ryu, and Master Xehanort did. The children were not ready to run yet, so they had to be carried by the adults.

They made it inside the tower, and blocked the door with everything they could find in the lobby.

"You are within the domain of the Finster!" said a voice. They turned around and saw that it was Saumon. "Why?"

"Because I'm gonna kill that motherfucking cocksucker for killing my Grandfather!"

"Hm", said Sarumon. "Amusing." He raised his sceptre into the air and the room disappeared, and they were now in a field. "Why not give it a break? Rest here, in this wonderful pocket dimension of mine."

"We've come to far to stop now", said Chuckie.

"Very well then", said Sarumon. He raised his scepter again, and now they were in a hot place surrounded by fire. On a throne in front of them sat Ifrit, and he stood up and drew his sword and beckoned for them to fight him, so they all charged. The party held their ground, but it was basically a stalemate as all either side could do was hold off the other side's attacks. That is until Ifrit managed to smack Tommy, sending him flying backwards.

"NO!" yelled Chuckie. Tommy struggled to pick his head up and he saw Chuckie run towards Ifrit, then jump into the air and punch Ifrit really hard in the face, his fist aglow with a white light. Then Tommy passed out.

"Why, hello there, Finster"

"Negan. What happened to the others?"

"The others? Well, they met the fate that you're about to face."

"Really?"

"I hold the Protajewel. I am fucking invincible. There is nothing you can do to defeat me."

"Well, let's see about that..."

"Holy sit!" said Tommy. "Negan and the Finster are duking it out upstairs!"

"We know", said Ryu. "We can feel their fight all the way down here."

Solid Snake stepped out from a hallway. "Every corner has been rigged with C4. Once we take down the Finster, we can take down the building and destroy the Atomic Blade."

"Very well", said Master Xehanort. "Let's make our way to the top." So they took the elevator to the top and found themselves in a throneroom.

Negan was looking around, confused. "Come on Finster, let's finish this!" he yelled. Then he noticed the party. Everyone got into their fighting pose, except for Chuckie, who stood still in shock.

Negan laughed. "You guys! I'm afraid this is none of your concern. Leave now and I'll wait until later to kill you." He reached into his pocket and held out his Protajewel. "You see, I've got a Protajewel!"

Tommy reached into his diaper and pulled his out, showing it to Negan. "Ditto", said Tommy.

"No shit! So, here we have a battle between two true Protagonists. Well, let's see what happens next!" He raised Lucille and charged towards Tommy, who blocked it with his knife.

"You're just a baby!" spat Negan.

"Well you're just a Dumbfuck", said Tommy, and he leapt onto Negan's neck and snapped it. Negan crumpled to the floor. "Protagonist my ass."

"Where's the Finster?" asked Ryu. Just then the Protajewel was lifted from Negan's pocket from an unseen force, and laughter erupted from all around the room.

Chuckie was staring right at the source of the laughter. "Jesus Christ", he said.

"What is it?" asked Kimi.

"Its me!" came Chas's voice. "The fuckin' Finster!"

"Where are you, cunt?!" screamed Tommy.

"You can't see me", said the Finster. "For you have yet to run. But you've run a little early, haven't you, Chuckie?"

"What happened to you?" asked Chuckie.

"Godhood."

Tommy was shocked as he saw a bloody hole appear in Chuckie's chest. Chuckie fell to the floor."

"Fuck!" said Ryu. "Snake, detonate the C4!"

So Solid Snake detonated the C4, and the Finster's Skyraper crumbled to the ground, with everyone still inside...

(One day later)

Atop the rubble ruins, the Atomic Blade lay in the open air, still cutting a tear in reality in the trail of the world. There was stillness in the city around it. Silence permeated the scene. There was some shifting in the rubble, and a hand reached out of it, grabbing the Atomic Blade by the handle.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
